Calming the Bridezilla Part 3: My Expectations vs Reality

September 7, 2018 was the absolute best day of my life.  In front of my family and friends, I promised to share and build a future with the love of my life.  The planning, stress, constant decision-making, and money were all worth it because our wedding day was amazing.  Our ceremony and reception were both held at Glen Magna Farms in Danvers, Massachusetts. Glen Magna was the summer home of the Peabody family and is now apart of the Danvers Historical Society.  Glen Magna’s overflowing garden of gorgeous flowers was the perfect landscape for our late summer wedding ceremony. For the reception, we moved over to an elegant tent, illuminated with stringed lights.  The love that poured from our family and friends was undeniable. And my huge trademark grin was plastered on my face for the entire evening.



Prime example
My smile is about 70% of my face


Now, while this is all true, my wedding day was not perfect.  It was an incredible day and even looking back now I wouldn’t change a thing!  But it is natural for a bridezilla (everyone, EVERYONE, has a bridezilla moment, trust me) to lash out on the wedding day when you’re working with sane, non-bride humans.  It’s bound to happen. Leading up to the wedding, the day was going to carry out in a certain way in my head. Then after the day passed, I realized that there were some things that didn’t go quite as planned.  Reality caught up with my expectations.


Expectation #1– “I’ve set up the schedule perfectly and everything will run on time.  I’m amazing!”

Reality #1– “Why isn’t he/she here yet?” “What time is it??!!” “We need to be there in 5 minutes and the GPS says it’ll take us 15 minutes…ya we’ll make it, right?”


Throw your schedule in the garbage.  Not everyone will run on time, there will be traffic, and you will be (hopefully only a little) late.  Accept it and breath.


Expectation #2– “I’ve sent out multiple, clear texts.  Everyone will know what’s going on and no one will ask me anything.  I’m a queen!!!”

Reality #2– “Yes, the wedding starts at 6pm.” “The time? 6pm.” “We’re leaving at 3pm to be there for 3:45pm and, the wedding starts at 6pm”  


Bridezillas of the world, I feel you.  People not remembering important information sucks, but chill.  This is the best day of YOUR life, but it’s not necessarily theirs.  Be patient and try to gently remind people of the stuff they need to know. Or, print out a day-of memo (I actually wish I had done this haha).   


Expectation #3– “I’m going to repeat back my vows with the musicality and ease of Bernadette Peters singing “Send in the Clowns.”

Reality #3– *in my head* shit, what did he say? Dammit, Monika.  Pay attention!

Whether you invite 20 people or 200 people, being up there with just your fiance and the officiant is nerve-wracking!  But don’t take it too seriously. A few laughs here and there breaks up the stiffness of the moment and makes it much more genuine.  My ceremony was had a lot of little giggles and inside jokes. Best of all, my videographer caught the moment I couldn’t figure out which hand was Randy’s left.


Expectation #5– “My photographer will be able to take a million pictures in a million different poses.  TIME AND SUNLIGHT ARE ENDLESS!”


Look at those blue blues and gold golds *swoon*


Evening weddings have a naturally dreamy effect to them.  The sky at dusk has a palette of many colors, the stars and moon begin to pop out, and the deep blue sky makes everything look moody and dramatic.  I had always dreamed about having an evening wedding! And, my Starry Night theme was perfect for the 6pm-11pm time slot that we had. So many pros, right?  

Well, one con was that we had to be strict and rigorous when taking pictures.  Our photographer, Ashley, was great about keeping all of us on task and getting the shots that Randy and I wanted, along with some candids.  Unfortunately, because it was getting dark and it hadn’t been the sunniest day out anyway, we weren’t able to take photos under this big, old,  beautiful willow tree on the grounds. It sucks, but you can’t have it all sometimes. So instead, Randy and I are planning on going back and taking pictures under the willow tree for our first anniversary.          


Expectation #5- “These heels are so cute, they’ll be great 5+ hours of standing! I’ll even break them in before the wedding.  I’m a genius!”

Reality #5- “Ow ow ow.  Yup, I’m taking these off the minute dinner is served.”

Sooo cute but sooo not broken in

Oh, pretty little bridezilla, sweet, naive bridezilla.  I know that you have every intention of breaking in your shoes and/or even “toughing it out” for the entirety of your wedding.  But it’s probably not going to happen. You’ll get busy and you’ll forget to wear them around the house. It’s okay! Just do what I did and bring cute sandals for when your feet are throbbing.    


Yup, didn’t expect my husband to get dropped by my uncles and aunt…
Also didn’t expect to cut our piece so thin that it wouldn’t come out of the cake…


Tell me, what expectations do you have for you wedding day?  Or what expectations did you have and then what actually happened?  I’d love to hear from you Bridezillas (and Groomzillas)!

Spread the word, people 🙂


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